Big Night Out

Heather, who blogs at Oh Wheely... recently posted about what it takes for her to go on a night out with friends.  She's had an interesting response and now plans to write some more posts showing what life with a disability is really like.  She's given us permission to repost these here.

Tomorrow is my friend's birthday so tonight we are out on the town. 'We' is not OH and I but a whole big bunch of friends who are swinging by to pick me up on the way.

So, with military precision my 'going out' plans have swung into action. Whenever I have advance notice of a night out it goes something like this.

Up to one week before

Buy appropriate present and card and check there is enough wrapping paper - this time I bought the present a month ago and I'm quite excited to give it to her as I think it's lovely and I want it.
Check if I need to supply food or drink if it's at someone's house (fingers crossed no prep involved).
Ask boys to bring going out clothes down for me to peruse while OH is out (too stressful for him).
Cancel all plans for the following day in anticipation of dehydration headache.
Ring the venue to check on access and toilets and, even if I've been there before, worry anyway.

Forty eight hours before

Get whole outfit together as no guarantee anyone will remember (including me) on the day.
Worry about outfit.
Wrap present.
Buy food or drink if appropriate.
Worry some more about access and toilet facilities.
Worry about transport and which chair I can get away with (comfort vs weight).
Text friends for advice about access and ask for chaperones/pushers.

Twenty four hours before

Stop taking regular laxative and drink plenty in preparation for dehydration on the night.
Try to get hair washed and dried - not always possible as this depends on who is around or available.
Get a night bag connected so that I can fill up on water overnight to attempt to negate impending headache.
Spend the night making emergency plans to allow for lack of access and poor (or non-existent) toilet facilities.

On the morning of the day

Dress in the bottom layers of the outfit for that night - as I can't change without transferring back onto the bed and that would be a huge hassle - and hope that nothing gets spilled on them during the day.
Check shoes for tonight are clean and out where I can reach them.
Decide not to go as it's too much hassle for me and everyone else. then change my mind at least twice.

Four hours before

Stop drinking.
Stop eating.
Wear an apron if I'm still fairly clean.
Make sure children know I'm going out and where to contact me.
Text friends who've volunteered (hopefully) what time I need to be ready - reminds them not to forget me too.
Find volunteer to get coat out of cupboard if not already out.

One hour to go

Feel quite sick and sure that access and toilets will be cr*p and filled with surplus stock.
Use commode.
Change wet knickers and pad (not always these days - hurrah!)
Change top layer of clothes.
Get out bigger shoes as forgot feet would swell.
Take pills inc paracetamol as transferring.
Brush hair.
Do make up.
Have the last wee of the night.
Spray perfume to cover smell of urine.
Coat, scarf, gloves.
Handbag, present, food, drink, money.
Transfer into Slim (manual chair), if I have to, last thing as now immobile.

And go.

H x